Travels with Remo – Part 1

Many elaborate and life-altering adventures happen during moments of mishap and misfortune.  When things seem to be gaining momentum towards a new beginning, to then alter and move life’s purpose into a new direction; one that is totally altered from the journey that was sure to begin.  It becomes pure moments of quiet when the thoughts and the answers come.  The great American writer John Steinbeck published his book Travels with Charley in 1980 and much of what he discusses in his text are the thoughts and pressing matters that concerned him in the later moments of his life.  More or less his adventure allowed him to look at the American condition.  My more recent travels have not exactly taken me across much of America, but the journey that I have taken this summer only magnified my observation of my current place on my path of least resistance. 

Las Vegas, June 26, 2020

It is 10 AM and it is already 95 degrees outside.  I have just packed up the GTI for our journey, now I have to secure the house and get the boy in the car.  He already knows something is up, as he has followed me in and out of every room since I got home after my Saturday morning training session.  He has one consistent place he likes to be – in the way.  I think I purposely take about three extra trips in and out of each room to accomplish two things: tire him out, and then to make sure I didn’t miss anything as his constant hysteria can be confounding for planning purposes.  He is adorable though, my child has his own eyes of wonder.  So much has happened in the past 72 hours.  My girlfriend has just informed me that she is thinking about breaking up with me, my mom is about to have surgery, and I am dealing with a personal health matter that has become a bit concerning.  Truthfully out of the three, only my mom matters.  It is not invasive surgery, she is getting her toe fixed and will be laid up for a few days.  We are unsure of how long my services are needed, but it is a chance to bond with mom and the reciprocate all that she did for me as a child.  I realize that as I discussed in my memoir that my mom and I did not have the best relationship, especially in my teen, early 20s, through my 16-year marriage, but hey, better late than never.

So now, my son and I are on what will soon become a pilgrimage of sorts to reflect further on current pursuits and revelations.  As many people choose to enter the city of sin for a weekend of debauchery I speed down Interstate 15 on my was to Los Angeles maneuvering in and out of traffic with an anxious German Shepherd panting and shifting constantly in the back seat; so much so that he can actually make the car shift in the lane if he gets too aggressive.  It is crazy to think of how busy the roads have now become as it is “safe” to travel again.  COVID-19 has been “defeated” and states have opened and continue to open more and more across the country inviting visitors whom have felt captive for the past 18 months to revel in freedom.  It is hard to imagine how many individuals stuck at home with free delivery of any food they want and multiple streaming services have been starved for anything, but we do crave what we cannot have – hence a reason why strip clubs are still popular.

More and more cars continue to pack the north-bound 15 as the advertisements and illumination of digital signs reflect the soaring business re-opening and venue experiences.  Vegas is free – cue William Wallace – and the economical energy flow magnifies more each and every second.  I could only imagine what the strip would have been if the Golden Knights made the Stanley Cup Final.  It was lovely driving around for the past 12 months with little to no traffic – sadly that is no more. 

The ever-changing universe has its own plan.  It is my duty to flow downstream with it and trust it.  These new experiences have supported my trust and gratitude for the people whom have come into my life and the events that I had with them.  It also gives me a chance to look back and reflect on the part that I have played.  Nothing is perfect, it appears to be when masked with pleasure and passion, but the perfection is just a rouse sent by your ego to not face the inherent truth: honesty.  We are surrounded by a false reality that continues to grow each day and we must awaken and filter all that is not necessary.  It has nothing to do with image, it has to do with awareness.  As I live in a city of false idols, staying in one’s body is highly important and critical.  How we view ourselves is what matters and how people react is their emotions and feelings towards themselves. 

There is a swift rustle in the back of the car; Remo has shifted again, and now has his head popped between the seats gazing forward along the highway.  Then he gently rests his head on my shoulder: a boy and his dog.  He makes me feel like a child in so many ways.  He is pure love and joy, and I am the center of his universe.  He is spoiled, but he listens, and there are times when he is off the hook.  But I can’t be mad at him, it goes back to consistency and communication between us.  I have worked with his training, but there are lapses.  As I think about this, I fixate more upon my current and past relationships.  I have played many parts: friend and foe.  Their reactions to me have been two-fold.  It is their emotions and also the reflection of my emotions.  It is complicated to explain, but people we meet mirror our personalities and the aspects of ourselves that we both love and disagree with. 

Traffic is moving smoothly though; that is one of the best things about living in Las Vegas – our home is where people are flooding to, so traffic usually stays smooth both leaving and returning as you are moving in the opposite way of most visitors.  As the 15 southbound begins to open up on the desert and we climb through the mini valley passing St. Rose Parkway, the journey truly begins.  Civilization is slowly drifting away in the rear view mirror.  Only a few stops will pop up along the way, and the temperature will continue to rise until we reach the Los Angeles coast line.  The road is open, but all of the cars hover their speed around 77 MPH as we are all aware of speed traps here and there along the highway, especially along the wide-open spaces. 

How much has the world changed?  A little over 18 months removed from lockdown due to the pandemic.  Many dramatic and ever-changing situations shaped and coincided with the pandemic, but I wonder if it will continue and what will come of it.  Will there continue to be more social empowerment?  Will people continue to stand up and demand change and action?  In contrast, how will other react to people speaking their mind?  What about the constantly oppressed and those who suffer from violence and disruptive decisions brought upon them by others?  I often worry that now that things are open and distractions continue to emerge as people want to “get away and relax” what united many through the pandemic may go away.  In my book, I wrote about how we had time to think and take note and solace in what made us whole and happy.  Now I am concerned that many may revert to external stimulation to initiate happiness as oppose to remembering that happiness must come from within the self.

This is a dangerous stretch of highway.  Two lanes in both direction, trucks and cars moving faster or slower than necessary, and not too much room on the shoulder if an emergency pops up ahead.  This 5-hour excursion is great for thinking about life’s biggest quandaries and questions, but you also have to focus on the road.  It is easy to get distracted when you are alone, and when I have a captive listener to openly orate my thoughts.  I am not sure if Remo is actively listening, but he never talks back.  Thinking aloud I find is much safer because it does two things: it keeps me awake and does not allow me to drift into the daydream world with my thoughts.  The traffic seems to be thinning out as we finally are out of the pass and heading towards the Cima exit.  I have taken this trip six times since I have moved to Vegas, and there are just distinct spots and places that you know and are aware of – when the traffic speeds up and slows down.  It just happens.  The next point of slower traffic will be just after this exit and he have another incline before we head down the highway for another 45 min till we hit Baker.  Driving has become a simple joy in life.  It fills me with gratitude because I can and do move freely and think freely for myself.  This drive in particular allows me to vacate all that needs to be left behind.  I have myself, I have my dog.  What else do I need?  Enjoy the minimum and live the maximum.  The time with the self is the most pleasurable.  I matter, I am worthy, and I am valuable.